The Joni Mitchell Punk Movement

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Flickr Credit: ReneS
I get pretty bummed when I forget my headphones in the morning. A mistake like that rules out Groovesharking all day and listening to music on my commutes. However, it does amp up my listening and people watching skills and the only thing better than people watching is eavesdropping.

A couple weeks ago I jump on a fairly crowded L car and become wedged between two guys in their early 30s. These poor dudes. I mean they would probably be hipsters if they were 10 years younger and a few New Castle’s lighter. They were talking extremely loudly, in an elitist tone — quite possibly one of the best conversations I have ever been privy to on public transportation.

I first become intrigued by these two guys when I hear them talking about vampires. It’s 7:45 AM.

Guy 1: Yeah, so, I mean it’s awesome right. The girl ends up getting pregnant after she’s turned into a vampire. I’m wondering and just hoping that in the next movie they don’t cut out the part when her vampire husband asks if he can perform a c-section with his fangs.

Guy 2: That happens? Wow. I bet they’ll cut it from the movie.

WHAT?!?! So I’m trying to figure out if they’re talking about Twilight here. I’ve only read up to book 3 (3 books too many). It’s certainly possible they are just talking about some movie on SciFi that they stayed up watching until 4 AM with a bowl of Funyuns. I could be wrong, we’ll see.

Guy 1: The series is just incredible. I mean the fact that so many people are waiting in line to see these things just blows my mind. You know it’s like what kind of person is actually reading these books? Horrible people that’s who.

Guy 2: Actually, my sister.

Guy 1: Really?

Guy 2: Yeah, she loves them. The thing about the books is that it’s actually always quite surprising the type of reader who likes the series. You think you know the type, but you don’t.

Great. Sounds like we’ve got some hipster theory coming our way.

Guy 2: It’s like those old punk guys… those really old punk guys who are super hard core about music and then you come to find out that they’re really into Joni Mitchell. That’s what a Twilight reader is like.

I take out my iPhone at this point and start taking notes. I’m serious. I needed to record this conversational gold that was flowing from the mouths of these guys.

They move on from Twilight to Harry Potter through a discussion about the young stars in both films. They discuss some ridiculous article that came out claiming that Martin Scorsese said that Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) was “the next Leo.” They laugh haughtily that this was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard and that Scorsese denied the statement instantly.

Guy 1: I mean it’s a joke. Do you think Grint even knows who Scorsese is?

Guy 2: Doubtful. None of those kids know anything about movies. Daniel Radcliffe is an-

Guy 1: I bet Radcliffe actually told Grint about Scorsese. He’s a movie snob — I mean he was in Equus.

Ugh…doubtful. My entertaining pals then wrap things up before their stops with some thoughts on what people’s bookcases can tell you about them. According to the guys, it’s pretty typical that a young newlywed couple in Lincoln Park has all books that were made/will be made into a movie. ie. Black Hawk Down, The Kite Runner, Angela’s Ashes. Regardless they were happy that these people were reading in general.

How do you like that? Big ole hipsters making observations and complaining about things bright and early to a contained audience. I guess changing the world is a 24 hour a day, all your life job.

Until next time,
Caitlin

About Caitlin Fitzgibbons

Caitlin is an UPchicago.com contributor with a bi-weekly column on people-watching in the city.

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